Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Frustration + Hope

Well, still no kitchen. The cabinets could be up to another 3 weeks, which is incredibly frustrating. We have had a temporary countertop put in so we can at least chop vegetables and do some cooking; but the only sink is a giant low one in the laundry room that drains horribly and is very awkward to use. This whole move has put me through a loop. I don't feel like myself at times, and am finding it incredibly hard to start making this place homey when we have tons of boxes floating around that we cannot unpack because they are all filled with kitchen stuff. I cannot cook to the extent that I want, so I feel completely unhealthy and lacking in energy. I have somehow lost my vitamins, an almost full bottle, and refuse to fork out another $60 for another bottle, but really have no idea where they are.

It is incredibly easy to be negative and miserable in this environment, but I am really trying to stay positive and just be patient. I do not want to lose hope that this place will never be home, because I know that soon enough it will feel that way. It is really amazing what a lack of kitchen can do to your morale. But today, I had a mini breakthrough. I baked a cake. And it turned out delicious. I also cooked a proper dinner that turned out very well. The funny thing about feeling down and unhappy is that my cooking skills seemed to leave with my positive attitude. I guess the saying that love is the most important ingredient in food is true! I put love into the food today, listening to the freshly dug out radio and smiling through the whole process. I did not let the fact that it took me twice as long as normal to make the cake get me down, and I did not freak out when it took me 20 minutes to find the beaters and cake pan. I just went with it.

Life feels quite different these days, both in good and bad ways. The good way is that school is amazing, and I look forward to my class every day. It is distancing me from my negative work environment, which is great, and it is really giving me an idea of what I want my future to be. So it just goes to show that change, although very hard for a person like me who LOVES her routines, can bring a whole new light to any aspect of our lives.

Now if only I could drive to Ontario and pick up those cabinets myself! Is it not ridiculous that it is apparently impossible to manufacture cabinets in B.C.? I don't think that is too much to ask...

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